How to deal with negative comments
It happens to everyone who puts their website out there for everyone to see. My intention for this site is to help people, plain and simple. Helping you make your site more successful, and become better InfoPreneurs is what TheInfoPreneur.net was built for. I am so passionate about it, its bordering on obsession, so when I got my first negative comment this morning you can imagine what a range of emotions I went through, But I turned them all into positives. First the comment was on my Niche or not to Niche. It was from a reader who emailed me saying that I was wrong for suggesting not to choose a small niche, and what did I know etc etc, actually got quite personal towards the end of the email, stating ‘You clearly are a chump‘ . So here are the range of emotions I went through and more importantly, how I smashed those feelings to bits and turned today into massively positive;
- Sad – Angry – Frustrated
Naturally after being on such a high from the first 21 days of the site being live, and already getting a fantastic amount of interest, I clicked on an email, that brought all that crashing around me. I was gutted to be quite honest. I started to think is my site actually helping people, Your god damn right it is;
- Who are you?
I started to think about this ‘person’, probably some pessimistic hater, who spends all their time, cruising sites and social networks talking trash and putting people down in order to cover their own issues. Probably some bully who went through school making people’s lives a misery then leaving with no qualifications and spends most of their time in a basement complaining about how they have never been given anything. This ‘no-body’ can’t affect my life.
- Proof
Most of my post’s get commented on and re-tweet, and the comments I get are fantastic, really positive, same as the tweets on Twitter and emails, all really supportive some even going as far to say that I am helping them improve their websites and blogs, When I get comments like that, it makes everything so worth while, It gives me a buzz that lasts for days, and it’s this I have got to remember when someone disagrees with what I’m saying.
- Goal
Remember where your going. I have big plans for this site and at the moment I’m laying the foundations for this right now, and soon I’ll start implementing my future plans. To have goals you have to be focused, and being focused keeps your mind on the positive so it doesn’t leave room for the negative.
Remember not to confuse negativity with constructive comments. Accept help from people, don’t always be on the defensive but when you get a negative comment, and it will happen, smash it out of the park!
How do you deal with negativity? Please comment below
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Dude, sorry you got your first negative comment.
Negative comments for me are all about percentages. How many positives do you get for every negative?
If all you get are massive percentage of negative comments then maybe you need to change things but if you’ve only had one compared to loads and loads of positive ones then its all good.
Keep believing brother!
Twitter: theinfopreneur
says:
Oh yeah it was only one out of literally hundreds of great ones, I just thought it would be a good post to share, as EVERYBODY goes throu it at some point!
Personally, I’d rather get the occasional negative comment than none at all. At least I know people are out there paying attention when I get a “you suck” or three.
Twitter: theinfopreneur
says:
Great Attitude Shawn! That’s the way I look at it, in the words of Cartman ‘Screw you guys, I do what I want!’
Ooohhh.. This is a good post for me to read right now, cause I am mad, mad mad.
Some idiot on Twitter claiming that one of my favorite countries is full of corruption, bs and crime. Which is partly true, but there’s another side to it. He’s not commenting on my stuff, but it just made me mad for all the people in that country. Dumb, stupid piece of….errrggggghhhh. I just want to…
Ok.
I haven’t often had to deal with negative comments on my blog. If ever. But I have had to deal with negative comments in other parts of life, especially over the phone. I’ve done customer service, insurance sales, and telemarketing. I’ve been cussed out a lot!
The worst times were when I was trying to sell myself. If someone comments on the merchandise at a store I work for. Ok. Big deal. But if someone complains about a blog I worked my butt off to write, or calls me names personally, or says that my family or my company is a rip-off…. that’s what does it for me.
For over the phone I’ve learned from an ex-employee. If someone’s abusing you (or just being so stupid you want to cuss THEM out):
1. Tell them you need to put them on hold
2. Do it, and put the phone down.
3. Jump up and down, and scream, letting out all your frustration.
4. Go back in your nicest phone voice and help them fix their problem.
For comments, you can do a similar thing. Just put it away for an hour or two. Or even a day. Don’t think about it, just put it away. Then go back with a fresh attitude and see if it was really that bad.
If it was? Ask a friend to put it in perspective for you.
No matter what, don’t get childish and call names or make stupid remarks in return. And don’t fly off the handle and reply right away while you’re still angry. And yes, focus on the other good comments you’ve received. All the positive feedback. Give it time, and keep your cool. I know, easier said than done. But if you give in and be a child back, you’ll risk your reputation. You’ll unwittingly make their negativity the truth.
Twitter: theinfopreneur
says:
Fantastic comment, almost a blog post in itself, but brilliantly illistrated! Thank you so much
Twitter: SteveYoungs
says:
Hi James!
‘nother great post, mate, well done on turning those lemons into some sweet lemonaide.
Negative comments are very often a blessing in disguise. Yes, occasionally they can show you areas you can grow and improve, but I’m not talking about that. Very often, negative comments can create a “discussion storm” where every man and his dog wants to chime in with their $0.02 to either agree or disagree.
Sure, at times it might get pretty heated, but even that can be a good thing. As long as it doesn’t get out of hand it can turn into a LOT of traffic to your site.
It’s a shame that this guy used private email instead of commenting on your blog. Mighta been a fun read.
Twitter: theinfopreneur
says:
Steve, thanks again for the huge support, your right, ‘there is no such thing as bad publicity!’
yeah negative comments are a great way to learn cos sometimes even the masters need to learn!!
Twitter: theinfopreneur
says:
Exactly lindsey! no one knows everything!
Great post, no one likes to get negative comments, but as a entrepreneur, it’s going to happen no matter what, you just have to blog it out and remember not everyone is going to like or agree with you, remember you can’t please everyone, only concentrate on those that are already there for you
Twitter: theinfopreneur
says:
So true! Thanks for the support, Its funny how one negative comment can draw out a mass of supporters! Hope that person is reading this now! Thanks again Terrance
Cool! I too got my firsy negative comment yesterday, I reacted and regretted and later deleted my comment.
I think people have right to comment what they feel , but if it’s gonna damage my site in any way, I have the right to protect my baby.
Twitter: theinfopreneur
says:
Absolutely do, I think Leighann said it best when she said step back and calm down first, But I bet you’ve got a stack of positive comments to out weigh the one negative one!
I never take things personally at work. It’s about the work. If Work = You, then you will have a problem. The reaction when you operate under that premise will cause deep anguish and hurt feelings. As so many others have posted, if you distance your emotions from the comment, you can then process positively.
I personally enjoy criticism. You can’t make eggs without cracking a few shells.
Twitter: theinfopreneur
says:
Too true Tristen, That’s the perfect attitude to have!
I see negative comments as a growth experience. If I look in the mirror after I see a negative comment about my work I see the large vein over my temple grow larger.
.
A negative comment is far better than having viewers click away leaving nothing but an entry on the web log.
Twitter: jeffadcock
says:
First, Congratulations you have arrived.
or it just might win you a new fan. You have shown you can take criticism even when not delivered in the best manner.
After the internal struggle to immediately defend myself has passed I look for truth in the post. See if there is anything that you can take from it that will make you better, if so take it and thank them.
If you must take a jab back add a little lesson on proper feedback, that might get you another negative post
If there is no real nuggets of truth rather just whining, ignore it. In my experience whiners are usually just looking for a reaction so they can whine some more.
Keep it up and as was pointed out before, your percentages of possitive to negative are hugely in your favor!
Jeff
Jeff´s last blog ..Is your Company committing Brand Suicide?
Twitter: rwallace
says:
I had been blogging on one of my other site for some time, aimed at helping others involved in a bipolar relationship. Finally, the negative comments came around, my first two hit on the same day.
They both stung, as one hinted that since I was bigger than my wife, I could slap her around when her disorder caused problems…the other, was how foolish I was being for trying to help and all people with mental disorders belong in prison, away from the rest of society and he left his own bipolar wife.
I swallowed my pride however, knowing that I was indeed helping others as the comments and emails I had received from those supporting me have been awesome…and as profesionally as I could remain, I emailed the negative commenters that I simply wasn’t going to authorize such comments on the site and that was it.
I received one email from the first guy, amazed that I contacted him…apparently his “hobby” was to “find random sites on StumbleUpon and leave stupid comments”…his own words.
The second guy never responded but at the end of the day, he ended up hitting the site several times hitting almost every post…all I can hope for is that I helped him see that it is possible to have a successful bipolar relationship.
Long story short, take the negative with a grain of salt, you will never please everybody regardless of how hard you try and you’ll always be wrong in someone else’s eyes.
-Rich
Rich´s last blog ..Happy Holidays from Rich Wallace
Twitter: theinfopreneur
says:
Great example here Rich.
I see it now as a positive if I get negative feedback, means that I am reaching enough people.
keep positive, you are doing a great job
theinfopreneur´s last blog ..Here is What I Have Done Today
As a writer I’m get use to negativity. Criticism is part of both the writing and blogging journey. The best way to look at criticism is to ask yourself are they criticizing to be helpful or hurtful.
Twitter: kbloemendaal
says:
I have seen some pretty crazy and not only negative, but insulting comments this week on a few blogs I read. The most important thing is that you realize some people will disagree. I read all the comments on that post, and I assume the commentator didn’t want to voice those opinions in the comments (none of them were that bad).
Anyway, take it with a grain of salt and move on….
Keith´s last blog ..Why Comments Build Community On A Blog
Twitter: bohemianshooter
says:
This sort of situation, but in person, is something I’m used to and comfortable with. Photography critiques in an academic setting can be brutal because there are times when a personal dislike of the person presenting rather than a valid issue with their work is the motivation behind the criticism (mean spiritedness). I’ve felt my creative writing workshops in and out of an academic environment were more helpful, even when my work wasn’t as strong as I would’ve liked.
Lisa Reese´s last blog ..Lee Jacobson by Lisa Reese
Twitter: kookieskrumble
says:
I dont deal well with negative especially when it is about my story or my writing. I had two individuals in particular whom are very negative about what I write and for the most part I tried shaking it off. But because my story is so personal, it really hurts me. I do wear my heart on my shoulders and it is more difficult for me. I am so glad to hear that I am not the only one getting negative feedback or comments. The hell with them all who do not believe in us. Right?
winnie´s last blog ..I am Tired of Crying (Help Me)
Twitter: theinfopreneur
says:
Winnie,
the way I see it is if you get a 100 positive comments, I expect a 100 negative ones. Not everyone agrees with the way I do things or my attitude on life, virtually everyday I get people on the internet and in person tell me I’m doing something wrong. It’s just there opinion, just like it’s my opinion to ignore them! lol
Twitter: businesslistpro
says:
I try to look through the comment and around the personal slights/attacks. I’m not perfect and maybe there’s a crumb of value even in negative comments. I subscribe to the idea that I shouldn’t publish anything on the Internet–or anywhere else for that matter–that I wouldn’t be proud to show my family. When you publish on public forums like blogs, you are opening yourself up to the great unknown. You never know when something you say strikes a chord with someone. Unfortunately, some people are tone-deaf.
Twitter: theinfopreneur
says:
Hey Jeff,
That’s a really good way of looking at it, ‘never publish anything you wouldn’t show your family’ I love that!