Five Strategies for Building Self-Confidence

Karen

Lately, we’ve been talking about creating your ideas book and your vision board as motivational tools to do, be, and have what you really want out of life.

They’re excellent tools, but without self-confidence, all the motivational tools in the world won’t work.

If you don’t believe in yourself and believe that you can accomplish your ideas and attain what have on your vision board, you won’t go through the necessary actions in order to change your life.

Here are Five Strategies for Building Self-Confidence

1.Focus on Your Accomplishments
2.Build a Strong Support System
3.Be Grateful
4.Complete Short-term Goals
5.Celebrate Being You

1. Focus on Accomplishments

Everyone has something that they are proud of. Each day you can choose to focus on the things that you did right today, rather than the things that didn’t go so well. Don’t minimize your accomplishments, either. What may be small to you may be very huge to someone who has been struggling with that very thing.

Don’t dwell on your failures or the things that didn’t get crossed off your todo list. What items (no matter how small) did you accomplish today?

Did you complete one of your MITs (Most Important Tasks) today? If so, give yourself a high-five that you were able to do that one important task today. Ignore the 100 other things that didn’t get done and give yourself a break. You’re only human and you tried your best today.

Give yourself pep talks throughout the day and believe that you are someone to be proud of. You’re someone who has accomplished a lot in their lives so far and will do so again.

2. Build a Strong Support System

It’s very important to surround yourself with people who are there to support you when you’re not feeling confident. These people can remind you terrific you really are.

We all have that little voice in our heads that tell us that we’re not good enough, that other people are better than us, and that we don’t deserve our success. No matter how many times we tell that voice to shut up, it can be very draining to be the only person who believes in us. The more cheerleaders you have in your life, the better you’ll feel about yourself. It’s always great to have people who can help support us when we’re feeling down and when we need a confidence boost. Just remember to be there for them, too.

3. Be Grateful

We all think that our circumstances are unique to us. We tell ourselves that no one knows the struggles that we’re going through and that no one can understand how hard we have it. Well, believe me when I say that no matter how bad your circumstances may be, there’s someone out there who has it worse than you. Look around at your community and what’s happening around the world. There are a lot of people who have it much worse than you. Knowing this can put your struggles into perspective.

Your problems will pale in comparison when you are grateful for what you do have in your life. You have a lot of skills and enjoy benefits that many people in the world would give anything to have.

4. Complete Short-term Goals

Building self-confidence doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time and is build one step at a time. Sometimes the steps are so small that you’re not even aware of them.

The best way to start building your self-confidence is to just decide on a task and then complete it. Everyday pick something that moves you forward to completing a project or the one thing that you need to accomplish today. Do that one thing each day and watch the stepping-stones to your self-confidence build upon each other.

5. Celebrate Being You

There’s no one on earth who is exactly like you. Celebrate that you are unique and that you deserve to honour yourself every week. Do something for yourself to celebrate the wonderful person who can accomplish what they want out of life.

Why should we only celebrate when we accomplish great big goals? We should be celebrating the journey as well as the destination! Schedule time to celebrate your small victories as well as your big ones.

These are just five strategies to build your self-confidence. What other strategies have you used to successfully build your own self-confidence? Share with us by leaving a comment below. Thanks!

Karen writes at A Meaningful Existence, a blog devoted to helping others put meaning into their existence through practical personal development strategies. You can subscribe to her RSS Feed and also find her on Twitter at @kruby.

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37 Responses to “Five Strategies for Building Self-Confidence”

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  1. Phil Raby says:

    Wise words, Karen!

    With regard to to-do lists, I use those, but for a day, I also have a ‘must do’ list – the really important jobs that have to done that day. Now, some coaches argue that, once you’ve completed that list, you can finish work, and thus have a good life balance. Sadly, I then look at the ‘to do’ list and work through that. One day, I’ll get everything done. Maybe… ;)

    Self confidence is hard to acheive. I like to listen to self-improvement audio books while in the car. Favourite at the moment is Flip It by Michael Heppell – highly recommended.

    Cheers

    Phil

    • Karen says:

      Hi Phil,

      Great advice about the self-improvement audio books, too. Listening will re-inforce the lessons and you’re stuck in the car anyways so you might as well use the time wisely.

      I use a must-do list as well, but it only has a couple of items on it per day. I like to have the choice so that I don’t feel like I have to do anything – I choose to.

      Thanks,
      Karen
      .-= Karen´s last blog ..50 Inspirational Quotes =-.

  2. Self Confidence is really important, no matters what business you are doing. I strongly agree with your point 4 and 5… “There’s no one on earth who is exactly like you”.. that’s exactly right.

    Anyways other points are good as well.
    Thanks for sharing. !!

    • Karen says:

      Hi Dev,

      I agree that self-confidence is a very important subject and one that everyone should be building. Without a strong foundation we won’t believe that we can do the things that make life meaningful.

      Thanks,
      Karen
      .-= Karen´s last blog ..50 Inspirational Quotes =-.

  3. Jean Sarauer says:

    I’m glad you mentioned gratitude as a path to confidence, Karen. There’s something about getting grounded in gratitude that always makes me feel joyful and confident. It’s a powerful way to quickly shift focus from a sense of personal lack to a sense of abundance and blessings.
    .-= Jean Sarauer´s last blog ..The True Story Behind Virgin Blogger Note’s New Look =-.

  4. BrandonBurgh says:

    Hey Karen,
    You know…there have been periods in my life when I learned I took certain things for granted. One, when I was in Infantry training, the ability to drink milk. We were only allowed water to drink. Had cereal for breakfast, enjoy those soggy cheerios in water.
    Most recently, my ability to walk. With my ruptured achilles tendon, the arm pits couldn’t take much more abrasion from crutches. Now, being able to stand again is a blessing.
    So, I’m all for looking at ourselves, and being able to celebrate how much more fortunate we are than others.
    Nice post,
    Brandon
    .-= BrandonBurgh´s last blog ..My First Ever Guest Post is LIVE….Video Style =-.

    • Karen says:

      Hi Brandon,

      We are really fortunate whether we are aware of it or not. Good for you for learning from your misfortunes to realize how grateful you are.

      Glad that you liked the article.

      Thanks,
      Karen
      .-= Karen´s last blog ..50 Inspirational Quotes =-.

  5. Thanks Karen. These are all important tips, but I think my favorite is your advice to focus on accomplishments. Everyone has made mistakes and everyone has been embarrassed about past decisions, but focusing on the negative will only drive us down. Thinking about all the good things I *have* done helps me push forward in life and work on my new goals.
    .-= Steve Scott Site´s last blog ..Steve’s Sunday Selections – May 23rd, 2010 =-.

    • Karen says:

      Hi Steve,

      When we focus on our accomplishments (no matter how small they may appear to us) it helps us realize that we do have the potential to do some things well and that we can complete tasks. This builds the momentum and belief that if I can do one thing, then I can do it again and have more success. Of course, we should be building our self-confidence not by just doing the easy, small things but by reaching a little further and accomplishing some major goals, too.

      Thanks,
      Karen
      .-= Karen´s last blog ..How to Stop Thinking and Start Doing – Guest Post =-.

  6. Murlu says:

    I like it, reinforces the timeless mindset that you need to realize how important you are and how you need to reward yourself along the way.

    Failure is one of those words that makes everyone cringe but if you never start or at least try to finish your projects, you’ll fail. So then you have to tell yourself “If I don’t act, I’ll fail. The best I can do is try and learn from it”
    .-= Murlu´s last blog ..How To Use Twitter To Find New Blog Post Ideas =-.

  7. Alex says:

    Very wise advice Karen! I really love your approach and I think there are some great steps here. I would also add that you need to make sure your goals are SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely) and I love your small wins approach. I am a firm believer in this too. Each small ‘win’ builds confidence and brings you closer to your long term goals

    • Karen says:

      Hi Alex,

      Yes, we have a tendency to discount the small challenges that we face in life, but we should be celebrating those because, as you say, they all add up and helps build our self-confidence.

      Thanks,
      Karen
      .-= Karen´s last blog ..50 Inspirational Quotes =-.

  8. Share your accomplishment with others, don’t keep them to yourself and only trumpet the failures.

  9. All good points, all of which I could really benefit from taking on board. Being grateful is particularly huge, because it is so easy not to be, to focus on the negatives and overlook the amazing blessings in our lives. And as for focusing on accomplishments, I rarely do this and it leads to an irrational feeling of inadequacy. Inspiring post Karen.
    .-= Mo “Mad Dog” Stoneskin´s last blog ..Curing hiccups and preventing alien invasions can easily go hand in hand =-.

    • Karen says:

      Hi Mo,

      Oh, definitely focus on your accomplishments and you will see a marked improvement in your self-confidence. We all have things that make us proud of ourselves – honour those and don’t worry so much about the failures.

      Thanks,
      Karen
      .-= Karen´s last blog ..50 More Inspirational Quotes =-.

  10. Nice article Karen. I agree with most of your points. I mean you can’t accomplish everything you want to in a whole day. And because that is the case you should focus on the things that you have accomplished and the things you are proud of.

    • Karen says:

      Hi Julius,

      No, we can’t do everything. That’s why it’s important to pick the most important things and then finish those. At the end of the day you will have accomplished something and that builds on your self-confidence.

      Thanks,
      Karen
      .-= Karen´s last blog ..50 More Inspirational Quotes =-.

  11. Mike Roosa says:

    Nice article Karen. I think the key is just focusing on the positive and leaving the negative behind. Easier said than done though.
    .-= Mike Roosa´s last blog ..Entering A DoFollow Zone =-.

  12. Karen, this is a great post. Even confident people sometimes aren’t confident. This is a useful checklist to building it quickly, thanks for sharing.

    For me, I like action and the focus on short term goals is a great way of building confidence, especially when you’re working in areas or with a client that you’ve never worked with before. Small steps give you the motivation to do the next steps. The more steps you complete the bigger the goal achieved. Matthew
    .-= Matthew Needham´s last blog ..How to write your ebook (part 4) =-.

  13. mark says:

    Hi Karen,

    In my experience, showing gratitude and breaking goals into smaller tasks is essential in improving self confidence. These are really great tips.

    I tend to organize tasks I need to do into two categories; now and later. This is similar in concept to the idea that Phil described (must do vs. to do) only not as interesting.

    Much appreciated! Have a great afternoon!
    .-= mark´s last blog ..Is Work/Life Balance just a scam? =-.

    • Karen says:

      Hi Mark,

      Organizing tasks can definitely work, too. So you know what’s really important versus things that you can do later. Each completed task builds upon your self-confidence until you believe that you can accomplish whatever you set your mind to.

      Hope you have a great afternoon, too!

      Thanks,
      Karen
      .-= Karen´s last blog ..50 More Inspirational Quotes =-.

  14. This was just what I needed today, my confidence was flagging a bit. Thanks for the pep talk!
    .-= Justin Matthews´s last blog ..Lessons Learned in the Desert. Part 2. =-.

  15. Maria Muir says:

    Hi Karen,

    I struggle everyday with self confidence as you probably know by now. I travelled all the way through to Edinburgh last week from Glasgow and back again all on my own, it was a real accomplishment as I suffer with agoraphobia. I just try to take each day as it comes, not always successful days, but I never give up. I’ve never had a lot of confidence, which has always held me back, so I try to read as much as I can on self help.

    Thanks for sharing Karen, always a pleasure.
    .-= Maria Muir´s last blog ..Celebrity Status – With A FaceBook FanPage =-.

    • Karen says:

      Hi Maria,

      I had no idea that you suffer from agoraphobia. That’s fantatic that you were able to push yourself into traveling alone – a major accomplishment and I’m sure it was a huge boost to your self-confidence. Way to go!

      It will get easy the more you try different things and the more you succeed at them. You will then be able to draw upon what you’ve accomplished in the past and use it in any future tasks.

      Anytime, Maria, anytime :-)

      Karen
      .-= Karen´s last blog ..50 More Inspirational Quotes =-.

  16. Great post Karen,

    Personal development is something interests me a lot. You’ve put some really useful tips in your blog that I think everyone would be wise to listen to. Thanks!

    Peace,
    Darren L Carter
    .-= Darren L Carter´s last blog ..Why You Should Jump Off A Cliff… =-.

  17. It doesn’t get any better than that James, good lesson. It’s one of the most important things you can have in not only life but in business in general, you have to believe in yourself first or no one else will, and you have to keep moving forward and let the past be the past :)
    .-= Terrance Charles´s last blog ..TerranceCharles: Goood Morning @TallChicknVegas I hope you are having a great morning so far, and Thanks for the RT Love too Ramona ;) =-.

  18. Aiping Wang says:

    Have you ever wondered if there is an invisible force that affects the way you live your life? Are you aware that you can harness this power? I’m referring to self confidence and if improving self confidence is something that you would like to develop, I’ve got 3 surefire strategies to boost your self confidence to help you live your best life.

  19. trish says:

    Having self confidence is one of the problems of people i think most especially in the teen age years. I myself have low self-esteem way back when i was in high school. I was the typical shy type person and does not have too many friends. But when i started to go to college i have realized that i should break the walls that hinders me to explore myself a little bit more. This helped me to realize what am worthy for. Nice article!
    trish´s last blog post ..Don’t Be a Quitter

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