Are you sitting in the passenger seat of your life and are allowing other people to determine where you go in life?
Or are you the driver that knows exactly where they are going in life, how fast they want to go, and the route that they want to take?
It’s so easy to take the default option and remain a passenger and allow other people to determine things for us. We allow other people to tell us what to wear each day. What to do with our time. What, where and when to eat. How much money to give us. Who we associate with. When do go to the bathroom, even!
Here are 5 ways that you can become the driver of your own life;
1. Develop hunger in your life by taking responsibility for everything in your life. No one is a victim, unless they choose to be one. Every action you take (or don’t take) is your responsibility and no one else’s. If you don’t take any actions that will better your financial situation, then that’s your choice. If you don’t like your physical self, then that’s your choice. If you feel bad that other people seem to have more and are doing more with their lives, then stop being a passenger. Start taking action (actions that you have been putting off due to laziness or fear) so that you determine the path your life takes. With every action you take, know that you own the consequences of your own actions. Choose wisely what you will allow and not allow into your life.
2. Develop a sense of urgency in your life. None of us are getting out of this alive and we all have a limited time on earth. I know that it seems like we have all the time in the world to do all the things we’ve always wanted to do, but that’s no true. No one has a guarantee for how long we live or in what condition. Just because you are young and healthy today, doesn’t mean that you will be the same tomorrow. All those people in the senior homes probably thought the same thing – that there was plenty of time left. If you have been putting off something that you’ve always wanted to do, then now is the time to do it or at least take the next step. What can you do, right now, that will bring you closer to your goals? Don’t put off living your life in the fallacy that you have all the time in the world to do, be, have what you really want out of your own life. Remember to take responsibility for the consequences of your urgency, too.
3. Develop your courage. We all have fears. There is no person on earth who isn’t afraid of something. Most of our fears are not real though – they are an internal thought process and often do not have any validation in the real world. What are you so scared of? We need to mentally push aside our fears and get on with our lives! Are you scared of driving your car? Then take lessons. Read books, talk to people, and learn from others. Know that if someone has done what you want to do in life, then so can you. You may be unique, but your situation probably isn’t. Someone on the planet of 6 billion people has done what you want to do in their lives who probably has had it a lot worse than you. They didn’t let their fears stop them and neither should you. Take baby steps to develop your courage muscles and do something that scares you just a little bit. Once you overcome that fear, take on larger fears so that your courage muscles are the strongest that they can be.
4. Develop conviction in yourself. You have to believe in yourself, even when no one else will. When people in your life are stealing your dreams and trying to put you back into the passenger seat, you have to stop the car and jettison those people. Okay, that may be kind of a strong reaction, particularly if they are family members. But, your life is your life. You get to be the driver, even if no one in your life likes what route you are taking. Sure, they can give an opinion, but don’t let them derail you or make you pull over and sit on the side of the road. You have to have the strength and conviction to know that whatever you decide to do with your life that you can do it. You can accomplish all of your goals. You can do what you need to do. You can decide to become the driver of your own life.
5. Develop your communication skills. Sometimes you need to stop the car and ask for directions, even though you were told the map was easy to read. Being able to communicate with others is an important skill to have throughout our lives. This includes not only listening skills, but also being able to express yourself clearly. Communication is a two-way path with both the messenger and the receiver have responsibility to understand the message. If you are not able to communicate what you want from others, then find the best resources you can to develop this important skill. Remember that other people will be communicating to you (not only in words or speech, but in non-verbal ways) so you should spend time developing the ability to read others and understand where they are coming from, too.
Are you ready to give up the passenger seat and actually drive? I hope these 5 ways have given you some motivation to change seats. We all know that the view is better from the driver’s seat. Take it because it’s yours.
Karen writes at A Meaningful Existence, a blog devoted to helping others put meaning into their existence through practical personal development strategies. You can subscribe to her RSS Feed and also find her on Twitter at @kruby.
Couldn’t have said it better about urgency.
I look at what I do each day and although I enjoy it, I know that I’m young and I have so many more years to make mistakes but recover from them.
I’m not getting any younger. It’s time to change everything up and go for it all. Even if I fail, at least I tried.
Murlu´s last [type] ..Free and Open-Source Software Alternatives For Small Businesses
Hi Murlu,
None of us are getting any younger! Hard to believe sometimes, but it’s true.
The months and years are just whizzing by so fast that if you don’t take time to examine what you really want to do in life, then you can lose the opportunity to do so.
Thanks,
Karen
Karen´s last [type] ..The Secret Stress Buster No One Dares Tell You About – Guest Post
This was exactly what I needed to be told at the moment. Especially now I’m in a transitional phase in my life of part-time work/full school to full-time career building. It feels like it happened overnight, but in reality was a very fast, seemingly slow handful of years that got me here.
Hi Lisa,
I’m glad that you enjoyed the article and that it’s giving you some momentum. Good luck with your next phase!
Thanks,
Karen
Karen´s last [type] ..The Secret Stress Buster No One Dares Tell You About – Guest Post
Way to go Lisa and thanks for sharing with us. Drive forward.
Brandon
Karen, I agree with all five of your points here.
Taking responsibility is especially important. It’s hard to succeed at anything if one makes excuses about what others are doing, or the nature or the economy, etc.
John Soares´s last [type] ..Blog World Expo in Las Vegas- My Unanswered Questions
Hi John,
Thanks for the backup
I agree that it’s hard to succeed if we are always blaming external forces rather than taking control over our own life and our decisions. It can be hard to do this, but it’s also very liberating – your success or failure is only dependent on you.
Thanks,
Karen
Karen´s last [type] ..The Secret Stress Buster No One Dares Tell You About – Guest Post
I spent a lot of years handing the keys over to other people, as well as to my own limiting beliefs. Taking responsibility for my thoughts and actions and getting clear on my values helped me switch seats. And you’re right, the view is definitely better from the driver’s seat!
Jean Sarauer´s last [type] ..How Naked Should You Get on Your Blog
Oh, I couldn’t agree more! Thanks, Jean.
Karen´s last [type] ..The Secret Stress Buster No One Dares Tell You About – Guest Post
Love it Karen! Develop a sense of urgency in your life really hits home with me. “Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die tomorrow” James Dean – That’s what I live my life by. Really motivating post!
Alex Monroe´s last [type] ..Allow Me To Introduce You To Rodney
Thanks so much for the kind words, Alex.
Great motto, particularly if it motivates you to not waste your precious time on earth.
Karen´s last [type] ..The Secret Stress Buster No One Dares Tell You About – Guest Post
Hi Karen,
This is an absolutely brilliant post. I think that before you can get on the path to success; you have to learn to take responsibility for your choices and your life.
We can be, do and have anything we want in this life. But we have to be willing to put the effort into becoming the people we need to be in order to succeed.
Thanks again for such a great post.
Jazz Salinger´s last [type] ..Learn and Earn – It’s a Marathon Not a Sprint
Thanks, Jazz.
Putting in the effort and taking responsibility is the key. Nothing comes easy in life.
Karen´s last [type] ..Warning- These Emotions May Be Affecting You More Than You Think
Courage Muscles! I love it.
This is why I am online now.
That is such a clever way of putting it and it really worked for me when I read it. It’s like I sometimes look at something that seems too big and I think ‘how am I going to do this’ and SMART goals aside, fear is something else that can’t be segmented – or so I thought until you put it like that! Awesome, thanks Karen, now I know I can ‘build up’ the strength to face my fears.
Oh that’s right, I was supposed to start by saying ‘great post Karen, really loved the analogy and to answer the question, I was always a passenger, and then through hindsight I had the realisation to have the foresight(?)to jump into the drivers seat.
But beyond that….courage muscles… I really do like that.
Thanks Karen!!
Alex´s last [type] ..Do you Want FRIEndS with that
Thanks, Alex for the kind words and I’m glad that the post resonated with you.
You can do anything you put your mind to!
So glad that you jumped into the driver’s seat.
Karen´s last [type] ..Warning- These Emotions May Be Affecting You More Than You Think
So true. You will never find someone without a master plan or a way to make a lot of money. But that is as far as they ever get. They never follow through with their goals. You need a plan and an unshakable determination to move past conception. So many people lack this key ingredient.
Gary´s last [type] ..Sandblast Curtains
Yeah, you definitely need to follow through with your plans, otherwise they’re just a useless piece of paper.
Thanks for the comment, Gary.
Karen´s last [type] ..Warning- These Emotions May Be Affecting You More Than You Think
I’m pretty confident that many people are both driver and passenger at some point. Quite often, this simply places the level of insecurity and difficulty in one’s life into focus which determines what role people play. Thank you for posting this.