I get asked a lot where my motivation comes from or where I get the energy to keep going at the rate I do, necessaty plays a big part of all this, ultimately it all comes down to wanting to spend my time with my family and giving them everything I can.
Every now and again you experience something that shows you just how trivial things are in our spoilt little world, but all too quickly that humble feeling disappears and we start worrying over stupid trivial things again.
4 years ago my wife was pregnant with our first child, now there were various complications from the start of pregnancy till well after the birth, but the birth in particular, is probably the biggest factor in this site becoming the success it is now.
2 weeks overdue, we knew he was going to be a big baby. The time had come for my wife to be induced, 6 hours before that time though, her first contraction appeared. Great I thought, she wouldn’t have to go through a forced labour. 6hrs of labour all without drugs, my wife was doing a fantastic job, then after what seemed like a life time 9lb 10.5 ounces of pure joy. I want to stress for those who don’t have children, that this is a big baby, he was actually so big he couldn’t fit in new born baby clothes.
Because he was so big and the fact my wife’s iron count was non existent, she almost bleed to death in minutes. My wife lost 5 and a half pints of blood very quickly. To put that into perspective, when I did my advanced medical training in the military I was taught if someone loses more than 4 pints of blood in less than 30 minutes, the chances of survival are less than 10%.
Now I have been surrounded by death from an early age and it stayed with me in the military. I have always been right about the outcome. I remember a time when we were returning from a training exercise and was involved in a massive road traffic accident, I held my friends hand (a fellow physical training instructor) who died as a result of a crush injury, from there I helped the other guy in the vehicle from bleeding out by using a tourniquet on his leg.
I have never been wrong who wasn’t going to make it and who was going to survive, until this day. I was sure my wife, who had just given us our first child, was going to die.
The doctors were prepping her for surgery and at one point there was 8 medical staff in the delivery room trying to help her, at the same time my son was sucking his thumb making the loudest noise in the world. Look down and I’m the proudest person in the world, look to my right, I’m about to become an widower. Talk about mixed emotions.
Now imagine how that must have felt, imagine how you have felt in the past or at the moment. Now, think back to that time when you over reacted to something someone said about you on another site or slated your latest post in your comments section. Guys this life is way to short to be worrying about crazy things that actually don’t affect you or anyone else in the slightest.
Next time you come up against something that stops you in your tracks, just think ‘Is this worth bothering about?’
I met my wife 5 years ago
2 days after we met, she asked me to marry her
4 months after that, we were married
5 years on and still not 1 argument.
I life my life by a simple set of codes, if it doesn’t affect me, then it doesn’t affect me.
photo credit: Travis Hornung
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{ 43 comments… read them below or add one }
Twitter: TylinaVespart
February 2, 2010 at 11:12
Wow. Not sure what to say here James… I’m glad she didn’t die right then, but I can see how that would be a Huge motivation. Nothing ever looks quite the same after the one you love nearly dies…
Heather´s last blog ..Review: Infernum The Art of Jason Engle
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 2, 2010 at 11:17
hey Heather,
yeah hardcore, but a lot of good came out of it. It just puts all these petty little arguements etc to pay really!
Twitter: TylinaVespart
February 2, 2010 at 11:34
Yep, could definitely see how it would. So long as you were able to take the good from the situation that’s all that matters really.
Heather´s last blog ..Review: Infernum The Art of Jason Engle
Twitter: bluepop13
February 2, 2010 at 11:47
Wow James.
I don’t know what to say. I can’t believe not one argument, really?
It really is things like this that make you treasure your life that much more and open your eyes to understanding and letting go of the things in life that really add no benefit to you. Wonderful article here.
I’m glad everything turned out well.
How is your family?
Eric´s last blog ..Lets Help Each Other
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 2, 2010 at 16:52
family is awesome, having no one while i was growing to having such a great family now is so amazing, love it.
it’s why I’m so motivated and don’t let little petty comments bother me at all
Twitter: coblyn
February 2, 2010 at 12:44
Hi James,
It’s amazing what propels us in life, isn’t it? I don’t envy you or your wife that experience at all, and still I can see that if would give you real clarity about what’s important in life.
Thanks for sharing. This has touched me today!
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 2, 2010 at 16:54
Hey Christine,
yeah I’m not always bombs and bullets, it really does lay it out simply. If it doesn’t affect me, then it doesn’t affect me!
Twitter: webcareergirl
February 2, 2010 at 14:27
Wow, this is one of those posts that just made me stop thinking about all the rubbish for a second. Thanks so much for sharing, your message is so powerful. I am so glad your wife made it through, and that it made you stronger as a result. Wow you are so right about the small stuff like your latest posts or comments!
Ruth – Web Career Girl´s last blog ..Forgotten Systems for Making Money Online: My Plan of Action for February
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 2, 2010 at 17:00
hey thanks for the support, yeah it doesn’t matter one bit all those petty things will be forgotten in hours, life is for living!
Twitter: bloggersmarket
February 2, 2010 at 15:11
Each one of us has our own path to travel, sure to be mined with challenge. What provides stability is faith, family and friends. Someone ragging on your site is nothing to get in a twist over!
Jeffrey´s last blog ..Build It And They Won’t Come
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 2, 2010 at 17:03
hey Jeffrey yeah bang on brother. It’s all for the taken just go and get it, because one day you will get hit with something like this and then it really makes you think why you bothered worrying about anything else
TheInfoPreneur´s last blog ..Stop Drop and Roll – Guest Post
Wow very scary I am so glad she is ok. We have 3 kids and everything thankfully went very smooth with each one. I can’t imagine what it was like for you. Truly very scary. Makes you think about how precious life really is and we should live life to the fullest every day.
Jim Hardin´s last blog ..Toasty S’more Post
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 2, 2010 at 16:58
yeah man it’s a gift brother !
TheInfoPreneur´s last blog ..Stop Drop and Roll – Guest Post
Twitter: ralphcarlson
February 2, 2010 at 16:00
You are a lucky man and a wise one. You know what is important and how to manage your time. I am happy that your wife didn’t die and that you didn’t get sidetracked by unimportant things.
Ralph´s last blog ..The Top Ten Reasons for NOT Posting Daily
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 2, 2010 at 16:57
hey Ralph,
wise I don’t know about that ! Life is unique it’s a gift that can be taken away at any moment. Live it to the fullest
TheInfoPreneur´s last blog ..Stop Drop and Roll – Guest Post
Twitter: freemanlegacy
February 2, 2010 at 16:27
You have a very blessed life and the two of you are lucky to have one another. 9plus pounds holy moly!
Ms. Freeman´s last blog ..Don’t Let Go of Your “What If?”
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 2, 2010 at 16:50
yeah i know and he was born with his right hand by his head! It’s why I look at life differently, it’s way too short and often you get no warning.
I’m glad she made it – it sounds like you have a wonderful relationship.
Your post reminds me of something one of my students said once. We were doing a section on giving effective feedback, and his comment was “You can’t hurt me, I don’t love you.” I’ve always thought that although it was stated very bluntly, there was some truth in that – I think he shared your sense of perspective. Life is too short.
If you’ve ever read the Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus, he believed something similar. Although his twist was “If I can’t affect it, then it doesn’t affect me.”
Karilee´s last blog ..3 Reasons to Build Your WordPress Blog Today
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 2, 2010 at 22:20
Hey Karilee,
I’m not a big reader, but the fact that quote comes from him then I’m going to start reading up! In fact the web page on wikipedia is open already so thankyou!
Yeah I would have liked to meet that student, that’s a great way to look at it all
Twitter: kruby
February 2, 2010 at 18:21
James,
I got goose bumps reading this, even though I knew the successful outcome.
I can’t even imagine the horror of the situation, but thankfully your wife and son are fine.
You and your wife were very fortunate to meet each other and know instantly that they were the one you wanted to spent your life with. Very heartwarming story.
Thank you for writing this.
Karen
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 2, 2010 at 22:26
Hi Karen,
Thankyou so much, it wasn’t that easy to write, but I’m glad it’s gotten such a good reaction. My wife and I said to everyone who thought we were getting married too quickly, ‘Why Wait?’ I think it comes down to, when you know, you know!
Twitter: JimiJones
February 2, 2010 at 18:33
Hey James.
Man, that is quite a story, thanks for sharing that. I can see how that gives you energy to succeed and have the greatest of love for your family.
You’re a driven man, and for all the right reasons.
Thanks goodness all turned out well.
Jimi Jones´s last blog ..Case Study Review – Lanzarote Information
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 2, 2010 at 22:27
Hey man,
Thanks for the support, yeah it really does give you the right motivation when you know what life is really all about
Twitter: dboguejmatthews
February 2, 2010 at 19:05
Always to be thankful for modern medicine. Glad she made it, I can only imagine all of those emotions at the same time. All 3 of my kids were right at 9 pounds so I know how big 9 pound 10 oz would be!
Still it is very scary when someone you care for like that is is such danger.
Thanks for sharing this story.
Justin
Justin Matthews´s last blog ..February, Fishing and my Alexa Ranking.
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 2, 2010 at 22:31
Hey brother, thanks man, yeah 3 kids at 9lb dude thats some going! I honestly don’t know how you do it with three. Saying that though being a dad and a husband is the best job in the world
5 Pints… Wow… I’m a former Marine and I went through advanced medic training too… I’m glad you were wrong on that day.
You’re wife is a lucky woman, you’re a lucky man and your boy is lucky to have both of you with him as parents today…
It’s amazing about motivation… Once someone’s world almost changes that drastically, and there’s nothing they can do about it… When that event has passed and it’s over… there’s nothing that can either light a fire under their ass like that experience or send that person spiraling down…
Good job for manning up…
BrianJUY´s last blog ..One or Two Spaces After a Period?
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 2, 2010 at 22:33
hey brother, hooo yaaa.
Yeah man, fight or flee you have to do something, my wife was ill for ages, but thankfully it all turned out really well.
Twitter: theMickMorris
February 2, 2010 at 21:53
I’m glad you, your wife and your son all got through. It is these critical moments that make life so precious, and can create some pretty amazing bonds. Thanks for sharing your story.
Mick Morris´s last blog ..Success – You’re standing in it!
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 2, 2010 at 22:34
Hey Mick,
Yeah me too, absolutely amazing the stuff life throws at us, but that’s what makes life so amazing.
Twitter: Giveabrick
February 2, 2010 at 23:52
With the advances in modern medicine, these days we take pregnancy and child birth for granted, until something happens to remind us of the miracle it really is. The experiences that you and your wife went through are the reason why mortality rates during child birth were so high just a few generations ago.
It reminds me of a news report I saw last week of a lady trying to give birth in Haiti. Her family had no alternative but to lay her down on the floor and wait for her to die. She was just too weak from lack of food. Thankfully for her and her family, the BBC media team were able to whisk her off to a nearby ‘hospital’ where they performed a c-section on a wooden table. In this instance, mother and baby survived.
But you’re right, life is too short and too precious to waste it fretting over comments or bad press or whatever. Every second is precious and we’re meant to use each one wisely.
Eleanor Edwards´s last blog ..The Importance Of Good Parenting
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 3, 2010 at 09:40
Exactly Eleanor, press on and forget it all, after all, nothing really matters except those that matter
Twitter: elledine
February 3, 2010 at 04:57
Thanks for sharing your experience. Events like that help us gain perspective on what is really important.
Our family has had some real big bumps in our life, but we now appreciate each other even more and many people comment on how close we are.
Best wishes to your young family, enjoy every second!
Michelle
Michelle Licudine´s last blog ..For the love of screen printing
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 3, 2010 at 09:37
Hey MIchelle,
Yeah growing up without a family makes it even more special now!
Twitter: Bigredtomato
February 3, 2010 at 16:16
Thanks James for sharing, I don’t know what to be most impressed about you meeting your wife and not having one argument or the fact you were wrong!
Certainly what happens to us shapes who we are and we must draw experience and strength from that.
Experience however, can be a mixed blessing as it limits our thinking. As you get older you are less likely to do new things because experience tells you you may fail.
I for instance enjoyed doing a martial art a couple of years ago called Krav Maga until I dislocated my knee. Because of the work I do I can’t afford to have a re-occuring injury. So I don’t do it anymore.
To be honest I probably don’t have the time, especially with our own baby due in June, but nevertheless, if I hadn’t been injured then in all probability I’d still be doing it.
So, experience is a good thing, but have to look past the bad things (or at least learn from them) to shape your future.
Matthew Needham´s last blog ..Become a Fan
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 3, 2010 at 22:54
Hey Brother,
Experience is vital, it’s experience that gives us our fire.
yeah my wife is special, one of a kind and insanely clever, she has an IQ of 142… compared to my 94 ! lol
Twitter: ryanhanzel
February 3, 2010 at 19:10
Man that is brutal. My wife had some troubles with her blood pressure, I can’t remember how to spell the right word for it but she was expected to have complications during my son’s birth. I was insanely scared so I know where you are coming from. That night showed me life in another perspective.
Ryan Hanzel´s last blog ..What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 3, 2010 at 23:00
hey man, yeah it does doesn’t it. All those bills, all those petty remarks all forgotten when something like that happens
Twitter: ptcearner
February 5, 2010 at 05:34
I know the pain when we get a thought that we r gonna loose our dear ones. I faced a similar incident with my grand father, who worked a lot for us to see all of us in good posistions.At that time i’m just able to understand only that he will be with us only for some days. I always remember his words “The more painful blow you get, make it a base to emerge more powerful than u are now”..
krish´s last blog ..Twitter Tools to Remove Spam
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 5, 2010 at 07:19
That’s a powerful quote and one that I will take with me, thankyou
Twitter: travisamorgan
February 6, 2010 at 03:16
Come on bro, that’s an amazing story.
I rejoice that you have a happy, healthy family to this day!!
Definitely great motivation for a site like this. And one that is sure to never run dry.
keep on keepin’ on!
Travis´s last blog ..A New Direction… Or A Few?
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 6, 2010 at 08:33
Thansk brother, I’m extremely lucky, The doctor actually said she only survived because she was so physically fit for years leading up to the birth.
Twitter: bohemianshooter
February 26, 2010 at 18:06
Thank you for your shared experience and giving us an intimate glimpse into what makes you the man you are now. Each of us that reads your blog postings enjoys the information you share, but above all else have enjoyed getting to know you as a person. Sure, this sort of communication has its limitations, but for what it’s worth I’m glad I stumbled upon your Twitter account and have had the unique opportunity to interact with you through your blog. Sharing something this intimate must have been difficult and I commend you for your generosity of heart. Half of us would be so lucky to wake up to as loving a nuclear family as yours. Best wishes to you and yours and know you’ve made me rethink a few things.
Lisa Reese´s last blog ..Rachel Brownlow & Jenna Renolds by Lisa Reese
Twitter: theinfopreneur
February 26, 2010 at 21:16
yeah I’m extremely lucky, it really does put things into perspective, things in this silly selfish world really don’t matter